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The dark inside

by Lockdown

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1.
Distance 05:27
You're my oracle, wisdom beyond your years. Oh, what you've learned from your pointless experiments. So outspoken and so unaware. Am I really to learn from your lack of experience? So stop it. Can't you cut it out? Just how long did you think you could live the lie? Consider this, While you scream and shout, I can take all the shit you can give coz I... Never much cared for the things that you did, And I never much cared for the things that you had to say. Charming yourself with the prospect that someday, I might give a fuck about anything, anyway. Understand that's not how it should be, For a faltering victim of failed integrity. What works for you is redundant to me, Thank you, now fuck off. Return to your own fantasy. Keep your distance. You're my council, My practitioner, And I come to see you when I want to feel good. You say nothing, I hear less, and you're wrong if you think that you're mis-understood, Intelligence, Leave it well alone. It doesn't suit you, and it never did, A dangerous combination: The mind of a psycho, the charm of a kid. I never much cared for the things that you did, And I never much cared for the things that you had to say. Fortification of image with fantasy, Never got anyone anywhere anyway. Understand that's not how it should be, And it's starting to loosen my grip on reality. What works for you is redundant to me, Thank you, now fuck off. Return to your own fantasy. Keep your distance. (Solo) You're so dangerous, And abrasive, No distinction between arse and elbow. You're transparent, You're so obvious, Still you persist with the stories you tell though. And it's biting me, Ripping oh so deep. Tear me open and flash me that grin. I take it, And I fake it, Safe in the knowledge that you'll never win coz I never fucking cared... Charming yourself but you don't understand, That I don't give a fuck about anything now. And I don't understand if that's how it's to be, How does this alter my faith in humanity? What works for you is redundant to me, Thank you, now fuck off. Return to your own fantasy. Keep your distance. Keep your distance. Keep your distance. Keep your distance.
2.
I slept through the thunder, I walked in the rain. I lived in the wilderness. I'd do it again. I'd fight for you. I'd die for you. I'd kill for you. But will you for me? I know deep inside, There's no fooling my foolish pride. The cold of reality, Can shatter the dream. A million voices, All caught in a scream. I'd fight for you. I'd die for you. I'd kill for you. But will you for me? I know deep inside, There's no fooling my foolish pride. (Solo) Why have you forsaken me? We were in this together from the start. If home is where the heart is, What's left when you lose that heart? I know deep inside, There's no fooling my foolish pride. How thinly you veil, What's rotten inside. Coz you are the foolish, And I have the pride. I'd fight for you, I'd die for you, I'd kill for you, But will you for me? I know deep inside, There's no fooling my foolish pride.
3.
You stood and stared, But you never did a thing. You should have dared, But you walked on like a king. "It's not my fault" you said, As they kicked and kicked again. You dare proclaim yourself, A leader of men. You really think you're it. You think you're the king shit. (Behold!) King of fools. Ubiquitous and wise, you wear a crown of lies. (Behold!) King of fools. Idiocy the way, the king of disarray. (Behold!) King of fools. Reputation torn, naked as he was born. (Behold!) King of fools. You said you cared, But it didn't mean a thing. And those you spared, Declared you the King. "A golden age of peace and health and prosperity" King of fools you are no, Leader of me. You really think you're it. You think you're the king shit. (Behold!) King of fools. Ubiquitous and wise, you wear a crown of lies. (Behold!) King of fools. Idiocy the way, the king of disarray. (Behold!) King of fools. Reputation torn, naked as he was born. (Behold!) The king of fools. (Solo) Immersed in majesty and greed, He canes the machine. It labours, belching choking fumes, Where once it ran clean. Now insane where darkness reigns, The blind leads the blind. But who's the fool? The fool that leads, or he that crawls behind? You really think you're it. You think you're the king shit. (Behold!) King of fools. Ubiquitous and wise, you wear a crown of lies. (Behold!) King of fools. Idiocy the way, the king of disarray. (Behold!) King of fools. Reputation torn, naked as he was born. (Behold!) The king of fools. The king of fools. The king of fools. The king of fools. Behold!
4.
(Instrumental)
5.
Can't be said that I don't want this to be. I reeled in the miles, I crossed the sea. This radio silence tortures me. Left out in the cold, and cold is me? So can it really be? Will we never talk until sunrise? Will we never walk in the rain? I'm a law unto myself. I'm a fool unto the same. Will we never talk until sunrise? Will we never walk in the rain? I'm a law unto myself. I'm a fool unto the same. I only wanted to help the dream come true. Only in my wildest dreams you dreamed it too. As Jupiter drifts and fades from view, I dare to dream. The dream is you. So is it really true? Will we never talk until sunrise? Will we never walk in the rain? I'm a law unto myself. I'm a fool unto the same. Now it's 3 o'clock in the morning, And I'm calling out in the rain. I'm a law unto myself. I'm a fool unto the same. I don't know what I'm doing. There's nothing I can say. It's inevitably doomed, To always be this way. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know which way's home. Remember someone said: "Someday you'll walk alone..." And I'll take, Take all of this, I will take unto myself.
6.
You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. You pull me under. ...with your lies. No disguise. It's your lies, I despise. I reject your venom, Your piss and your thunder. You know it's over, When you pull me under. You know.
7.
Indifference 09:08
The wheel rolls on, In a groove, And there's no change. It's come and gone. Rough and smooth, Just rearrange. Senseless repetition and Heedless recognition. The landmarks stay the same. There's no one left to blame. Change necessities, Overpower me. The signs I fail to sense, For my deliverance. For my deliverance. And still it spins. Ill revolve, And with no relent. No new begins. Nil resolve, And with no repent. It means so much to me, Fulfilling destiny. There's so much more to do, So much to offer you. Ambition still in sight, But fading with the light. The darkness of repeat. My struggle obsolete. My struggle obsolete. And I fail to see what's in it for me, The cycle of eternity. Centrifugal ignominy, Spinning for infinity. The same the same the same the same, Again again again again again (and again and again)... And now the years, Feel like days, Once they seemed forever. Colours to clears, And to greys, I'm beyond my tether. Shattered reality. Solid morality. I never win despite it, And I can't begin to fight it. But I cut my own path, And I'll scribe my own epitaph: "Here lies your faith in me. Gainless non-entity. Nothing more here to see." You'll be the end of me. And I fail to see what's in it for me, The cycle of eternity. Centrifugal ignominy, Spinning for infinity. The same the same the same the same, Again again again again again (and again and again)... I swear that I'll be there until the end. I swear that I'll be there until the end. I swear that I'll be there until the end. I swear that I'll be there until the end.
8.
Life hounds me; Surrounds me. Don't tell me my mind. I've fought all my life (less perfect). (Slashing, I'm crashing) my life less perfect. (Bleeding, I'm screaming) my life less perfect. (Biting, I'm fighting) my life less perfect. (Laughing, I'm crafting) my life less perfect. There must be more. I've searched for, Answers in the sky. No one there replies. (my life less perfect) (Fraying, decaying) my life less perfect. (Pacing, defacing) my life less perfect. (Toying, destroying) my life less perfect. (Failing, derailing) my life less perfect. (break) My life less perfect My life less perfect My life less perfect My life less perfect (I'm locked inside of this) life less perfect (I'm sick inside of this) life less perfect (My foolish pride hates this) life less perfect (I can't abide this) life less perfect. My life less perfect My life less perfect My life less perfect My life less perfect
9.
I ride the cosmic wind. I'm not of space or time. I slipped the paradigm. Free of your 3rd dimension, Free of physical form, I am the paranorm, All seeing. I see. My existence has become timeless. I flick back and forth through your life like a comic book. I know things about yourself that you don't even know you don't know, And I know how it ends...and it ain't pretty! Unleash your inquisitive side. Challenge what you know. Ask of yourself what's the truth? What do you know? Is this all we are? Infinite is my insight. I'm part of everything: Your plans, your hopes, your dreams. Your faith and your endeavours, Are, I'm sorry to report, As futile as I thought. I'm flying. I am free. I was living in gloom. Citizen doom. Like a dark shroud which turned colours into greys. Like a shadow depriving the sun of its warmth and its light. And a constant trend of disastrous deterioration. Unleash your inquisitive side. Challenge what you know. Ask of yourself what's the truth? And, what do you know?! This is all we are! Ever since I was young there's been something broken inside, And I've been searching for answers under every stone. I've been fanning the flame but the candle has long since died. When you're alone in the dark you've gotta find your own way home. ..oh here I go... (break) I often wondered how close we were, And now you're gone, now I know. Now I know. I only hope the euphoria of the end, was a greater joy than you've ever known. You were more than this. You can't just be dust. A blur of hair and elbows and fists and sticks, bookended each side by a Marshall stack. Smashing the skins and flashing the grins, keeping the beat like a sweaty maniac. Though you might be gone, Your legend lives on. There is no light which diminishes the dark inside. There is no sense which admonishes the dark inside. There is no joy which abolishes the dark inside. There is no love which demolishes the dark inside.

about

The dark inside explores the darknesses of the internal dialogue. Those places you visit where you process the realities of life in a virtual capacity before taking more considered and less dramatic action. This is the teetering brink of sanity. A shadowy flight into the world of a man...who does not exist.
These are the promises you make to yourself. This is the devil on your shoulder. The whisper in the dark.

credits

released July 7, 2018

Written, recorded and produced by Jordy.

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Lockdown Amsterdam, Netherlands

Lockdown is an Amsterdam based 4-piece 'very metal' outfit formed in 2003, deriving influence from 70s and 80s British heavy metal and American thrash metal, amongst others.

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